بسم الله الرحمن الرحيم
Nafsiya Reflections: Raising a Special Needs Child
Welcome to another episode of Nafsiya Reflections - Raising a Special Needs Child
Raising a special needs child... is a gift, Alhamdulilah, and a bitter pill to swallow at first. It is a wake-up call. See a lot of us, go into the doctor’s office for our routine ultrasound checkup, excited about the tiny new family member that’s on the way. We can imagine their little nose, hands and feet. We can hear their little heartbeats. We are excited. We arrange their clothes, their socks, their shoes and little hats.
However, it can go unplanned. Some of us go into that routine checkup, only to find out that that baby’s fingers are one too many, or that the heartbeat is not as strong as it should be or maybe everything seems fine, till the moment they are born, and we are told that they are not as healthy as expected. Even worse, we find out after only a few years that they are losing their natural abilities. It is a moment of severe weakness and in that split second, everything seems to crash down. We are lost in disbelief; could this really be happening? Could this really be true? All of our plans... lost in the rubble. What will the rest of our life look like now? Instead of it being a moment of bliss and excitement, it becomes a moment of overwhelm, disbelief, struggle, and confusion.
It is our wake-up call. See that instance our whole life goes through our minds. The unknown future. That moment becomes the route to a whole different life, a life much differently than what we had contemplated and planned in the first place. A life of the unknown.
It is then that Dunya shows its true colors. No matter how much we plan, how much we dream, how much we take heed of all we have seen in life, we are now even more aware that everything could change in a blink of an eye. May Allah (swt) protect us from sudden calamities, Ya Rab.
We remember Allah (swt) and we find our strength in Him and Only in Him (swt)! It becomes a moment of bliss, gratitude, relief, a piece of heaven; a moment of closeness to Allah (swt), like never before. We come to the realization that we are in the hands of Allah (swt), and that He is The One who chose this path for us, out of love. So, we are certain He (swt) will always be there for us. He (swt) will be there over us, giving us patience and contentment in all the stages of the struggle we may feel on our way. Yes, it is a moment of severe weakness, but also extreme strength.
Allah (swt) said,
(إِنَّ اللَّـهَ مَعَ الصَّابِرِينَ)
Indeed, Allah is with the patient. [Al-Baqarah :153]
Allah (swt) says,
(وَمَن يُطِعِ اللَّـهَ وَالرَّسُولَ فَأُولَـٰئِكَ مَعَ الَّذِينَ أَنْعَمَ اللَّـهُ عَلَيْهِم مِّنَ النَّبِيِّينَ وَالصِّدِّيقِينَ وَالشُّهَدَاءِ وَالصَّالِحِينَ ۚ وَحَسُنَ أُولَـٰئِكَ رَفِيقًا)
And whoever obeys Allah and the Messenger - those will be with the ones upon whom Allah has bestowed favor of the prophets, the steadfast affirmers of truth, the martyrs and the righteous. And excellent are those as companions. [An-Nisa :69]
Allah tests those He loves, as He (swt) tested His messengers (as) and the Sahabah (ra) with different hardships.
عَنْ مُصْعَبِ بْنِ سَعْدٍ، عَنْ أَبِيهِ، سَعْدِ بْنِ أَبِي وَقَّاصٍ قَالَ قُلْتُ يَا رَسُولَ اللَّهِ أَىُّ النَّاسِ أَشَدُّ بَلاَءً قَالَ " الأَنْبِيَاءُ ثُمَّ الأَمْثَلُ فَالأَمْثَلُ يُبْتَلَى الْعَبْدُ عَلَى حَسَبِ دِينِهِ فَإِنْ كَانَ فِي دِينِهِ صُلْبًا اشْتَدَّ بَلاَؤُهُ وَإِنْ كَانَ فِي دِينِهِ رِقَّةٌ ابْتُلِيَ عَلَى حَسَبِ دِينِهِ فَمَا يَبْرَحُ الْبَلاَءُ بِالْعَبْدِ حَتَّى يَتْرُكَهُ يَمْشِي عَلَى الأَرْضِ وَمَا عَلَيْهِ مِنْ خَطِيئَةٍ "
It was narrated from Mus’ab bin Sa’d that his father, Sa’d bin Abu Waqqas, said:
“I said: ‘O Messenger of Allah, which people are most severely tested?’ He said: ‘The Prophets, then the next best and the next best. A person is tested according to his religious commitment. If he is steadfast in his religious commitment, he will be tested more severely, and if he is frail in his religious commitment, his test will be according to his commitment. Trials will continue to afflict a person until they leave him walking on the earth with no sin on him.’”
He (swt) will test us till we walk this earth with no sins, so that when we meet Him we will be beaming, smiling with light in our faces; and in that He (swt) gave us the best of Dunya and the best of the Hereafter (Akhirah), In sha’ Allah. Maybe, just maybe... as we walk to the gates of Jannah, going through with, we will see our daughter or son standing at the gates, as a handsome young man, or a beautiful young woman, and they may look us in the eye, kiss our forehead and thank us for what we have done, knowing everything we did for them in Dunya. It will then be as if nothing was...
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